LONELINESS STRIKES

loneliness strikes ,,
i hate this feelings...a sad feelings, a real bad just like losing my mom again.

Miss Sandakan soo much..

Already more than a year i left Sandakan. Within a year so many things have happened.
I was in Putrajaya Hospital for 6 months, then i was in Kajang Hospital for another 6 months. I was in Kajang for my compulsory rotation in emergency medicine and general surgery (each for 3 months). This rotation is for the Master of General Surgery training..

Yup..since June last year i've joined master. It is a 4 year course..
It was damn difficult and i didn't get through the part 1 exam which was held last November.
I've to resit again this coming May.

Part 1 exam is just basic surgical science examination. We were asked about anatomy, physiology, pathology and principles of surgery... I knew it is difficult exam while i was in Sandakan. I've studied since 2008 but i guessed the study didn't paid off.

Fortunately , i've passed my MRCS exam part a last september. The exam was 10x easier than our local part 1 Master of Surgery..

Now i'm at Hospital Kuala Lumpur doing compulsory ICU and general surgery rotations.
Gosh..just within a year i've worked in 3 different hospitals in Klang Valley!

Life in HKL is damn busy. It's really big hospital, which is 5 times larger than Sandakan Hospital.

Missing Sandakan deeply. I really miss the environment there: the people, the nurses and the patient...

Kawan Baru..

this is my new good friend..the nokia E7..

it's costly but i love it..!

with touch screen, 8MP camera, Quickoffice program..etc etc whats' more i could ask for???

the nokia e7

From Sandakan to Putrajaya

It's almost 5 months i left Sandakan, Sabah. I was in Sandakan for 5 years..(Oct 2005 to Oct 2010). And off course, i'm still missing Sandakan, especially my working colleague... Here are photos taken before i left to KL. An old photo, to the right is Mr Ng, my head of department..i didn't managed to have a photo with him as he already resigned from the ministry

With Surgical clinic nurses..

with the female surgical ward nurses

another photo with female surgical ward nurses.

with male surgical ward nurses

with canteen workers.

with ICU nurses

a lunch treat in Sim-sim

my last appendicectomy in Sandakan..

group photo with Mr Jeremiah, my another boss, and my colleague

with Kak Tun, staff nurse at surgical clinic.

Depression

Been away almost 8 months.
Main reason: i'm depressed.

Life is full of surprises and challenges. I'm never thought i will face the challenges.
The year 2010 was really bad..i almost wanted to kill my self ..(i was lucky i still have faith to God).

The main reason i'm depressed: my mom has passed away.
Never..never thought she died this soon. I'm not prepared to lost her.
She was sick and i thought she will stay with us longer.
She passed away 2 weeks in the month of Ramadan, 2010.
I was really depressed after that and for the first time i just feel lonely.
The first of Syawal 2010 was just lonely and i'm stuck in Sandakan doing oncall.
That's when the lonelines strike and i was in a low mood.
I really missed her. Only God know.

Now, almost 6 months i'm still having flashback of her especially things i haven't done which i should have done when she is around.

errmm..it's just too late.

Tiada Rezeki

4 months ago, i applied to go to mecca as medical officer ..the MO there will have to take care the Malaysian pilgrims during the hajj period..

i got the result today..

"Sorry doctor..you was not selected...u may try again next year..."


errmm..tak de rezeki this year..

Those Good Old Dreams

Those Good Old Dreams
As a child I was known for make-believing

All alone I created fantasies

As I grew people called it self-deceiving

But my heart helped me hold the memories



As I walk through the world I find around me

Something new, yet familiar's in the air

I feel it ev'rywhere

Like a child's eyes

On a Christmas night

I'm lookin' at you now

Finding answers to my prayers



(*) It's a new day for those good old dreams

One by one it seems they're comin' true

Here's the morning that my heart had seen

Here's the morning that just had to come through

Same old stage but what a change of scene

No more dark horizons, only blue

It's a new day for those good old dreams

All my life I dreamed of lovin' you



You're a spark of a long forgotten fire

You're a touch of a slowly growing wind

You're a taste of the ever-changing seasons

Telling me there are some things that don't end

We have left all the darkness far behind us

All those hopes that we held along the way

Have made it to this day

Like an old love song

Gone for much too long

You hear it once again

And it carries you away



Repeat (*)